


Welcome To My Life

by TerresDeBrume



Series: AUs without a cause [52]
Category: Thor (2011)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Babysitting, Community: norsekink, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-18
Updated: 2012-01-18
Packaged: 2017-10-29 18:12:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/322706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerresDeBrume/pseuds/TerresDeBrume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor tries to take care of baby Balder. Fortunately, Loki is here to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Welcome To My Life

**Author's Note:**

> Writen for a prompt on LJ :D

"HOW DO YOU MAKE IT STOP?" Thor asks with horror, and the wail doubles in intensity.

"Well you stop yelling for starters!" Loki says angrily. "No, don't hold his head like that! NO! Thor for god's sake... okay, gimme the baby."

"But..."

" _Thor._ "

"Okay!"

 

Thor literally _pouts_ as Loki takes baby Balder from him and sets him on his shoulder. The baby stops screaming his throat raw as soon as he is properly positioned (even though he continues crying, but it's better), and Thor sighs:

 

"How do you do that?"

"Well, Sleipnir had to grow up before he could be potty trained you know." He raises Balder by the armpits, fingers supporting the back of his head, and sniffs at his bottom. "Speaking of which, I think this young man needs a change."

"Oh gosh. I'm not going near that!" Thor says, and Loki raises an eyebrow:

"Okay, _one_ you're the one with the pregnant girlfriend and _you_ insisted for Mother to leave our brother in your care, and _two_ I swear if you don't help me, you can kiss goodbye to your CD collection!"

 

Thor looks horrified enough at the prospect that Loki doesn't bother checking if he's following him to the bathroom.

It takes a few minute of digging through the cupboard (and Thor asking if 'it' is going to leak out of the diaper) in order to find what Loki's looking for, but he is eventually able to set Sleipnir's old changing plank above the bathtub again. A little more searching and he extracts right-sized diapers and necessary cleaning supplies from Frigga's baby-bag.

 

"Is it really a good idea to put that above the tub?" Thor asks. "What if he falls?"

"He could kill himself, just like he could kill himself falling from an ordinary changing station," Loki answers patiently, "which is why you have to prepare everything before you set him down, and then never let him out of sight, especially when he starts turning from back to tummy."

 

Thor nods, and Loki sees his fingers twitch with the need to write everything down, but he just smiles at his older brother as he opens Balder's pyjamas.

 

"Okay, come here, you're going to change him."

" _What?_ Have you looked at him? I'm going to break him in two! </i>"

"Of course not, don't be stupid Thor!" Loki says impatiently. "Don't worry, I'll tell you if you're doing anything wrong."

"But...."

"Thor! I practically had to learn how to change Sleipnir by myself and he's fine now, right? There's no way you're going to 'break' Balder with someone who knows how to change a diaper right beside you."

 

Thor nods, takes a deep breath, and slowly steps to take Loki's place in front of Balder.

 

"So... where do I start?"

"Opening the diaper would be a good idea."

"Okay, so... OW! OH MY GOD! How can something that small smell like _that_?!"

"It's the milk," Loki says with a smirk, barely phased by the rancid smell. "And this is nothing compared to Sleipnir."

"Urgh, this is disgusting! It should be forbidden to smell that bad!"

"Human body is fascinating right from the start," Loki answers seriously. "Don't discard the diaper right away, just tuck the bottom end under him, it saves you from changing the sheet every time you change him... good. Now, keep a hand on his belly to make sure he doesn't move. He can't turn yet, but it's a good habit to take. Then take a wipe out, and clean the poop off."

"Urgh," Thor says as he does so, "It's still _warm_!"

"Oh come on, don't be such a baby! Oh, and be careful, sometimes the freshness of the wipe makes them...."

 

But Loki can't finish his sentence: suddenly a string of bright yellow hits Thor right in the chest, and the younger Borson is laughing like a madman.

 

"It's _not_ funny!" Thor all but sulks.

"Oh but it _is_!"

"He _hates_ me."

"Of course not Thor, don't be stupid!" Loki shakes his head and dabs at Thor's wet T-shirt with toilet paper. "It's just the cold. And it could have been worse: Sleipnir hit me right in the mouth the first time. I never want to spend that much time brushing my teeth again!"

 

Thor laughs too then, loud and booming and genuinely reassured now, without any of the condescension he would have showed five years ago, back before Loki refused to put his son for adoption.

Loki feels grateful for that, for the fact that his big brother is speaking to him again, even if it took four years and Angrboda's death in a car crash to bring them together again. Now Loki speaks with Frigga too, and he and Odin can stay alone in the same room without killing each other (provided they don't speak, but let's just be thankful for small miracles shall we?)

 

"Come on," Loki says after a while, "you're not done here. Put the used wipe in the diaper, I'll roll them."

Loki does so with the ease brought by practice, and then comes back to Thor, who has a hand on Balder's stomach and a new diaper in the other.

"Okay, now open the diaper and tuck the part with the green rectangles under him, up to his waist." A beat and then: "You'll need both hands to open it Thor."

"Okay... How do I put this under him though?"

"Grab his ankles in your right hand, and use it to lift his butt up. Not _that_ much, Thor! Just enough to... yeah. Make sure he's at the center of it. 'Kay, now set him down, and put the second part... ah, see? It's not that complicated after all!" Loki smirks. "Now, just slose the PJs and you're done."

 

**oOo**

 

"Well, it feels much better like this," Thor sighs as he sits on the couch with a clean shirt once they've put Balder back to bed.

"Yeah, urine stains are uncomfortable."

"I can still smell it though."

"Get used to it brother, it's not going to be the last time you smell this on your clothes. Speaking of which, is this your favorite tee?"

"Uh... yeah."

"Go change."

"But I...."

"Thor," Loki insists, "babies have no notion of what shirt you like, or how _not_ to make a mess of it. If you keep that one by the end of the day there's going to be vomit, saliva and milk on it, and that's if everything goes as well as planned. Go change."

 

Thor looks flabbergasted for a moment, and then he asks:

 

"And they do that for how long again?"

"Depends on the kid. The really messy part can end anywhere between two and ten. Fortunately, Sleipnir seems to be keeping the whole bringing mud home thing to a reasonable level."

"Oh God," Thor says as he rests his head on Loki's shoulder, long hair hiding his face, "I'm going to die!"

"Welcome to fatherhood, brother."

 

They laugh together for a moment, happy to share this kind of things together, happy that, for once, Loki is the one teaching things to his big brother, happy to have Balder as a new brother, even if it's weird that he's so much younger than they are, until the babyphone cracks, and Balder starts whining.

 

"He's crying," Thor says when Loki keeps him from leaving the couch.

"Barely. Wait a bit, he might go back to sleep. Plus, it's better if he doesn't get accustomed to someone being there every time he makes a noise."

 

Thor nods reluctantly and sits back. Balder's unhappy noises subside quickly, and Loki smiles at his brother:

 

"I know it's hard to resist the call, but that's something you're going to have to get used to as well."

"Ugh. How can I do that?"

"Like every other parent does: you grit your teeth at first, and then you learn to enjoy the silence while it lasts."

 

Thor nods again, both worried and relieved at the idea of keeping the apartment calm for a while more, until....

 

"DADDYYYYYYYYYY!" 

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

 

Loki gives Thor a _told you so_ kind of look, and they both grunt as they get up from the couch.


End file.
